I recently watched ‘Thappad’ on Amazon Prime. Loved the concept, loved Taapsee Punnu, Kumud Mishra, Ratna Pathak Shah, and all the other actors who did a brilliant job.
But, the one performance that stood out for me was that of Pavail Gulati, who plays Vikram, the husband.
The reason why I loved his acting was because of how authentic it looked. He effortlessly portrayed a typical misogynistic, urban, educated male, who refuses to see, accept and believe that by JUST ONE SLAP, he has outraged the modesty of a woman who is his wife.
In fact, for most part, he is solely concerned with what everyone would think about HIM. Will people think of him as a wife-beater, will people laugh at him because his wife was ready to break their marriage because of just one slap?
Not once did he think of how humiliated his wife would have felt at being slapped in front of a hundred people. And no, it wouldn’t have been any better had he slapped her in the privacy of their bedroom. A slap is not okay. Never. Period.
I wonder what makes men like him think they are not partners but owners of their wives. Well, for starters, they obviously learn by example. They have seen the generations before them behaving in a particular fashion, and that makes them think that they are not wrong in following suit. (Vikram’s father in context of the movie).
But on the other hand, you also see Amrita’s brother voicing his opinion against her decision, irrespective of being brought up by a clearly feminist father. So what went wrong there?
Well, the movie very subtly touches upon the often ignored aspect here- sometimes non-actions speaks louder than actions. When Kumud Mishra tells a distraught Ratna Pathak Shah, who clearly is not in favour of her daughter’s divorce, that he never stopped her from pursuing her dream of becoming a singer. She very aptly questions him back, “Lekin aapne kabhi poocha bhi toh nahi ki maine gaana kyun band kar diya.” And that, I felt, was another silent slap on the face of that particular section of society that pulls up its collar at being very progressive, but that also never questions when women willingly give up their passions in the name of family, kids, and many more such aspects that clearly should be a shared responsibility of both the husband and wife.
All throughout the movie, the one thing that kept pricking me like a needle stabbing my chest was how real the portrayal of the society was. The mother and mother-in-law, who keep telling her to adjust. Even her lawyer, who eventually comes around, but on their first meeting, asked with a shocked expression, “So just one slap then?”
And then when she finds out she is pregnant, it is automatically assumed by her husband that she will come back to him now. But isn’t this what happens in most cases? Ek bachcha kar lo… sab apne aap theek ho jayega. People, especially women, stay in unhappy, abusive marriages because of their kids… or because they are financially dependent on their spouses, or because their families don’t support them like Amrita’s father did. The reason could be one or all of these. What matters is not the reason, but the result.
Another thing I loved was some of the dialogues. One dialogue that I particularly liked was when she tells her lawyer, “Humari bhi toh fair deal thi; woh paise kamayega, main ghar sambhalungi. Unfair woh thappad tha.”
Amrita (Taapsee’s character) doesn’t showcase herself as someone who was forced into making a choice to be a housewife. If was just a choice she made on her own, just like a lot of other homemakers, including me. And most of us don’t feel guilty about it. We love it, at least I do. I don’t mind it that my husband earns and I don’t. I take care of the house and do one helluva job of it.
The decision Amrita took in the movie was bold, but difficult nevertheless. Would it have been better if she would have slapped him back and gotten over with the hurt? Maybe, maybe not because violence is never the answer. Did she take it too far? Maybe, maybe not. It really depends on which pedestal you put your self-respect on. A lot of women wouldn’t have the courage to do what she did. I can’t even speak for myself.
But as of now, my better half and I have a fair deal too… and I’m all for it. Bas… woh unfair thappad kabhi acceptable nahi hoga. Just like unfair gaslighting won’t be acceptable. As long as that is kept out of the picture, I’m happy and will make sure that I keep him happy too… just like he keeps me happy.
AsYouLifeIt 